The Prophet and the Mad Dogs

by Onyemaechi Ogbunwezeh
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Fellow tenants in this mad-house called Nigeria, lend me your ears!
Whether Cesar should be buried or praised, is Mark Anthony’s business. Mine is to unmask the epistemic plagues afflicting the Republic.
I just heard with one ear, that an alliance of cattle egrets, feeding off the civic diarrhea, oozing off the nepotistic ass of an incompetent president, have been called to arms. They are convoked and have unfurled the banners of pseudo-religion, as an armada of grievance, to bray for that head, which wears the Mitre in Sokoto.
Power is a hungry beast, with an insatiable desire, to hand the heads of prophets, to daughters of adulteresses.
To purchase public adulation and the concubine’s admiration, while consolidating its inglorious hold; power pretends to pay any adulteress, with whom he is fornicating, at any point in time, with other people’s heads. This is to take their eyes off the fact, that he is violating their mother. That was why John the baptist’s decapitated head, sitting on a platter, was ingloriously surrendered to the daughter of an adulteress, who had learnt to obscenely swing some hips, at a debauched Tetrarch in mid-life crisis, bedding her mother. So, instead of murdering the power violating her mother and disgracing her father, she was convinced to exact a weak and iniquitous vengeance, on the only voice of reason, courageous enough to condemn that sin.
So those, who are outraged that some of our compatriots, whom Buhari’s criminal incompetence and that of his predecessors, have sodomized and continues to sodomize without vaseline, worse than all others, would be the ones to rise, and pretend to religion, in order to defend a government that has been nothing but a festival of grotesque incompetence, should rest easy. They have kindred spirits in Herod’s court of yore. It is sad that the sons of that part of Nigeria, mostly impoverished by Buhari’s incompetence,would be the ones to rise, to ask the power violating them, to hand over the head of the prophet, who had the courage to condemn that sin.
The Northern part of Nigeria remains the poorest part of Nigeria. It is the part most ravaged by insurgency, banditry and genocidal conflicts. It is the part that has performed worse than others in all the indices of human development; to which Buhari has done nothing to alleviate.
That our compatriots from this region, would feign faux outrage, dress themselves in the borrowed robes of ignorance, and elect to misunderstand Bishop’s Kukah’s criticisms of an incompetent government, as an insult to Islam, is a poor testament to the level, which hypocrisy could bring down religion.
I refuse to believe that these laughable bunch of scoundrels, could successfully masquerade themselves as faux-spokesmen of Islam. That Nigerian Muslims could allow such jokers to parade themselves as their spokesmen, is really appalling, some would tell me. I would have been misled into believing that these clowns are mouthpieces of Islam, if I had no Muslim friends, or friends and brothers from the North. Well, Amadioha be praised, that I do.
Buhari is not the only Nigerian president allergic to criticism, who would unleash his Rottweilers on his critics, just like he did with the garrulous Garba Shehu- that merchant of fraudulent rhetoric masquerading as Presidential spokesman. Nigerian history in this regard reads like George Orwell’s Animal Farm, where Napoleon deployed his dogs to hound anyone who had the effrontery to entertain or hold a different opinion.
Abacha drove the critics, whom he couldn’t murder quickly enough into exile. He gleefully and dutifully murdered those foolish enough to dare a mad man. Ask Al Mustapha, who was directing his hit-squad of Israeli-trained goons.
Obasanjo was hyper-allergic to criticism. Fani Kayode was his Rottweiler. This mad dog attacked Chinua Achebe, for daring to reject Obasanjo’s mockery of a national award, while a “clique of renegade, boasting its connections to Obasanjo’s Aso Rock, tried turning Achebe’s home State, into a corrupt and lawless fiefdom, under Obasanjo’s watch.
The list is inexhaustible.
The only polite thing that can be said of those Buhari’s cheerleaders braying for Kukah’s blood, is that they sound like entitled simpletons, with an unyielding constipation, which confers them with the dutch-courage into believing that they have a monopoly of violence.
The fact remains that Buhari’s incompetence is a pestilence I wouldn’t wish upon any country.
Those hounding Kukah in place of a reasoned debate on governance in Nigeria, should entertain us with what Buhari’s achievements or claims to relevance are. Is it that he staged a military coup, terrorized us with guns of anarchy, in his first hold on power, as to confuse those with short-memory, into conscripting him to anchor their heist on Nigeria and Nigerians in 2015?
What is it that Kukah criticized Buhari for, that is not true?
Is it the fact that the subtlety of Buhari’s nepotism is now stratospheric?
Under Buhari every honest Nigerian, is compelled to ask, whether Nigeria is a colony of the North, or a federal republic with federal character principles.
Is it the fact that his government has been a revolving litany of the same corruption, he and his mandarins accused the last administration of?
Any honest observer would be compelled to ask: what happened to the war on corruption that Buhari touted as his signature tune, while campaigning for our votes?
This armada of faux outrage out asking for Kukah’s head, just like Herodias daughter did that of John the baptist, are only angered that the naive parochialism of this government, was ripped asunder by the eloquent stings of Kukah’s critique.
This band of civic scoundrels are calling for his head, for dressing their principal in his well-earned robes of incompetence. They are ready to stone him, for accurately describing Buhari as a spectacle of nepotism and incompetence.
This is a sad spectacle to read, when a crooked Donald Trump, could whisper to his aides, in different words, that in Buhari, Nigeria seemed to be left in the quavering hand of a riotously incompetent half-wit.
Buhari’s minions seem oblivious of the fact that,anyone wishing to govern a complex set-up like Nigeria, must possess a miscellany of competences, like having a profound allergy to provincialism and insularity of any kind, which could warrant the preferential treatment of a part, instead of a fair treatment of the whole; an acute intelligence, which appreciates complexity and how to manage contradictions.
And for them to threaten social prophets and critics with bodily harm, means that are fanning the flames of the charade, that their principal is not senile and an absentee President, or a paragon of nepotism, whose dubious accomplishments history will record to include, hounding voices of reason.
If these purchased voices, threatening Bishop Kukah, were smart, they should have known, that you cannot silence a head that wears a mitre.
The Mitre represents the tongues of fire, that Christians believed, was how the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles on the Pentecost day. Being ordained a Bishop and clothed with a Mitre means that his tongue is of fire; so much so that he is obliged to intone in his office of the hours every morning, “Oh Lord, Open my lips, and my lips shall praise your name”!
Kukah’s principal is his God. He will not stop prophesying. He will not stop condemning injustice. He will not stop. Killing him would achieve nothing. If you martyr him; he would then stand before his maker, to intone in the words of the Psalmist: “Your justice I have proclaimed, before the great assembly. My lips I have not sealed. You know it Oh, Lord!”

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