Much Ado About 'Miss'

Beauty pageantry is a socio-economic entertaining industry in the world. The showbiz world has beauty pageantry as one of its pillars, a revenue-generating venture. A celebration of inward and outward beauties of the feminine gender the showbiz world seeks to showcase the talent, special features and creativeness behind the weaker sex amongst us. On stage the Eves exhibit what they beautifully possess within and without to the admiration of adherents. When one behold some damsels it feels good to appreciate our Maker for His creative wondrous works.

Apart from the muslim nations where strict rule of Sharia is practised many nations celebrate womanhood through beauty pageantry. Worldwide queens compete for the crown of Miss World, Miss Nigeria, Miss America, Miss Asia etc. When we talk about Miss Nigeria we remember famous queens like Bianca Onoh-Ojukwu, Agbani Darego (former Miss World) and a host of others. To be crowned a miss you must not only be beautiful outwardly but you must have something upstairs. Opportunity abound for one to achieve some potentials realising certain dream.

Some of the queens upon winning the crown engage themselves in worthy social endeavours like the HIV/AIDS sensitization campaign and emancipation of womanhood. But hardly had any miss finished her reign without a scandal trailing her — sexual scandal, financial scandal or what have you. You have even those whose emergence were at best scandalous and controversial, cheating to win.

Some of the would-be queens call on God of all beauties and others employ the services of the so-called ‘wise ones’ (marabouts) to be able to sway the final judgement of the panel of judges to their favour. Others go the extent of throwing themselves at the organisers in order to win outside stage. Not unlike Nollywood producers and directors the top organisers of these beauty events have had the best of the female anatomical experiences! And besides they are smiling to the banks at the end of each episode.

A radical opposition newspaper here (“Nuit et Jour”, Night and Day) last weekend published a damning critical report against the proliferation of this ‘miss’ thing warning the government not to be too much involved in its sponsorship or patronage. The daily described ‘the miss phenomenon’ as an avenue for the promotion of laziness, delinquency and prostitution. Describing those behind its organization as “fraudulent, sexual predators and porn networkers” it condemned the ‘miss’ competition positing that the national ideals behind its origin has since been defeated thus hijacked by the ‘miss’ mafia with international connections.

Here we have uncountable miss this miss that contest every now and then. Even the ECOWAS miss contest is billed to be staged here in Golf Hotel soon with the President and his Prime Minister as Special Guests. We have Miss Ivoire, Miss CI, Miss Malaika, Miss ‘Awoulaba’ (for kid mothers and women who have had an issue whether married or unmarried), Miss Noel (for the kids), Miss Campus, Miss Musik TV, Miss Internet etc competing for higher recognition and patronage of advertisers and promoters.

I had attended the last Miss CI national edition and it was a wonderful event featuring live bands and gallery of beauty presentations. The winner after receiving her crown was overwhelmed by emotion and she shed tears of joy on stage! But soon afterwards she was embroiled in a scandal with her opponents accusing her of lying over her age and educational pursuit.

To be fair some of the queens end their reigns as stars and heroines refusing to compromise the moral responsibilities the crown imposed on them. But many ended up with one scandalous hangover or another and others ended their terms getting hooked to drug and alcohol. And others settling down in difficult marriages. Very few end as heroines! In a world where morality is under attack negative influences and unimaginable exposure and advances sometimes blow the ‘miss’ away.

A former national miss here got married to a former old Minister, old enough to be her grand dad. The randy septuagenarian, one of the most powerful top members of the ruling party, and the former smashingly beautiful miss in her early twenties has had terrible moments in their marital lives. The girl discovered to her chagrin after having her daughter that the old politician had a concubine in Paris and whenever he visited France he spent more time than necessary. When the illegitimate wife in France got wind of the marriage she fumed and nearly rocked the union bought and sustained with money more than true love. The concubine provoked the home at will sometimes putting calls across as late as 2 am; she had wanted the worst to happen but that has not yet happened much to her apparent unhappiness.

Back home in Nigeria the Ikemba Nnewi, Dim Ojukwu, fought with the Biafran zeal the father of Bianca, himself a high-profile politician and former Governor, Chief Onoh, to have Bianca. Though they have since reconciled with Chief Onoh allowing Bianca’s wish to prevail, the former Miss Nigeria who have had kids for the Biafran hero must have married Dim Ojukwu more for his fame and wealth. The highly-educated Emeka is a man with high tastes!

According to Napoleon Hill “the desire of sex expression comes at the head of the list of stimuli…the emotion of sex is, by great odds, the most intense and powerful of all mind stimuli.” Since the choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny some great men refuse to be tied down by a single woman; they ‘diversify’ as it were always looking out for other sources of happiness. Hill was implying that great men have great taste for women! I believe the Ikemba is a happy man with Bianca by his side.

The beauty pageantry no doubt empowers those that win eventually; it presents a great opportunity which when exploited well enough leads to advantages in life. While the Ben Bruce dynasty in Nigeria has taken the miss adventure to another level the Silverbird showbiz gurus have become the face of pageantry in Nigeria. Here Victor Yapobi and his children are the driving force behind the miss contest.