When you saw the title what came screaming in your head? Sacrilege, barbarity, Stone Age, pedophiles, chauvinistic, idiotic? Wait a minute. Polygamy is what it is – no name calling. The institution of polygamy is as old as marriage it self perhaps a few years in between. Polygamy in the Western World where most African entities have become economic refugees is largely frowned upon; over the years after being subjected to brain washing, western propaganda and conquest- the new African have since abandoned this very important pillar of the traditional African Society. Now most educated Africans of middle class stature, frown at polygamy. It is a regarded as evil, demeaning and of no consequence to the life of the modern African.
But history tells us otherwise: between the classical world religions that are at each other’s throat today i.e. Christianity, Judaism and Islam – what is common to their holy books is a subtle endorsement of polygamy. Before you the Christian start blabbing, the only man referred to as the friend of God and a man after God’s own heart was a polygamist i.e. King David. In the Westernized society we live in they marry same gender people all in the name of freedom and rights, it smacks of hypocrisy that polygamists will be denied equal rights as would-be homosexual couples.
I have never heard of homosexuals being friends of God in the good book and it is more saddening when you hear Africans that now look down on their polygamous heritage now tooting the horn of the white man for him in declaring approval for gay marriage, gay union or gay philandering as the case may be. If gays can be left to their bedroom, leave polygamists there too. While some will hide behind women rights and child protection to oppose polygamy, the same identical case can be made against same sex union –yet they ignore this to push their neo-colonialist agendas. Go talk about women rights to great women polygamists like Dr. Dosunmu Abiola a PhD holder and fourth wife of late business mogul Chief MKO Abiola. I hardly think she was forced into that marriage or she is ignorant by any stretch of my imagination.
Indeed, the definition of the word “polygamy” have been contrived to suit the wishes of the white man. Given the history of world civilization and conquests, it is the domineering race that gets to define the standards of public morality as well as the meaning of words used to debase, dehumanize and disrobe the subjugated culture of anything left of their civilization. As such, in the time of the Pharaohs if your civilization was not into the Egyptian practice of royal incest then you are regarded as backward. Pharaohs married their kits and kin and that was the royal standard then.
In examining the true meaning of the word “polygamy” we shall examine the root words. “Poly” as you already know means multiple. “Gamy” on the other hand is a reference to gametes a key party in the process of mammalian sexuality, fertilization and subsequent reproduction. As such polygamy can only truly refer to have multiple sexual partners as opposed to multiple legal marriages as the white man will want you to believe. The problem with defining polygamy as such is that it will expose “Massa” white as not only a closet polygamists but a servile, blue blooded barbarian man that needs to satisfy his sexual appetite like every one of us through his lifetime by either being a “serial monogamists” – read polygamist, regular divorcee – read polygamists, or mistress keeper-read polygamists.
Since it is now firmly established that men being men will always be polygamists given that I can boldly posit that less than 5% of men that grow up to their twenty first birthday and lived to their fortieth in the world we live in today will taste just one sexual partner in their lifetime, it is now useful to examine the very institution of polygamy. Polygamy as I have posited earlier is perfectly natural as opposed to being homosexual. I am yet to come across homosexual plant and animals, our fellow living things (even though I know they might exist in Netherlands and San Francisco), but polygamous animals and plants proliferate nature. Given the Hobessian view of man as an animal first, that respond to instinct before logic, it is a given that man will naturally seek to have sexual relationship with more than one woman in his lifetime. Perfectly normal- but not in the world we live in today. A combination of brainwashing, hypocrisy and false logic have beclouded our sense of reasoning to the extent that the unnatural act of homosexuality is now a human rights while we are devoted to extinguishing the last vestige of polygamy from our world.
In the African society as opposed to Jewish, Islamic, Mongoloid and European setting, polygamy was acceptable as a useful instrument of social order. Till this day it exists in four forms with various merits and demerits. The pure traditional polygamists devoted to polygamy for the sake of raising a big family, a huge human resource and consequently a tool to empowerment: this form of polygamy is fast disappearing. On the other hand, another form of polygamy is hegemonic polygamy. Hegemonic polygamists is practiced to achieve the goal of multiple sexual partners by all means possible including the cost of economic reality- this is very common today especially among the poor and at middle class of Nigeria: Sabella is a typical example (just joking). Hegemonic polygamy is already having traction in America while some of these juicy feminist are trying to confuse us in Nigeria- there was a protest last month sef!
This is opposed to a third form which I call Capitalistic Polygamy – this polygamy is rooted in the belief of the “survival of the fittest” – a rich man should enjoy the spoils of his wealth including multiple women who are willing conspirators in this enterprise. From MKO Abiola, to Fela to Obasanjo and to virtually all Nigerian past leaders except the Great Obafemi Awo (a man so devoted to monogamy he will be called gay if he schooled in America); these big men are Capitalistic Polygamists like their American counterparts e.g. Bill Clinton, Hugh Hefner of playboy fame, Warren Buffet –until first of two partners died recently, (I am beginning to think polygamy is a path to success). Funny enough, most women tend to be less critical (even if they do, they so tongue-in-cheek: hypocrites!) of this group because all of them are willing participators. In their books, only rich men deserve double or multiple dipping as the case may be. Lastly we have the paternalistic polygamists – this is more common in certain cultures, where old men will acquire young, innocent girls – what you might refer to as statute rape and pedophilia. For all intent and purpose, I only frown at this last form of polygamy.
While polygamy was not perfect, and it might have various negative impact of child rearing, it is also true that it served a purpose among which was economic empowerment for the subsistent farmer that gets free labor, partners for women hitherto that will be left out there cold e.g. widows, older women, single mothers and certain social misfits; it also served the larger purpose of procreation. Since statistically speaking, there will be more women than men given the paucity of the Y chromosome (men carry XY, women carry XX if you map this your chance of having a male child is one in four), it is as such natural that if polygamy is disallowed the next best thing is homosexuality i.e. lesbianism where women will have no choice but to have sexual relationship with themselves. Also in light of the fact that monogamy with his rocket high divorce rate, infidelity and in fighting is hardly a model for raising children, polygamy might as well be taken with its bad pill.
Given that I am just a soothsayer- a day will come in the world where wars, poverty and natural disasters that have played a crucial part in at least keeping the female population only two to three percentage points ahead of men will disappear and then we will have a serious problem on our hands. The time to start considering our alternatives is now- given that Africans are endangered species, populating the world with more black children will not be a bad idea. There is no wrong in digging into the past to seek answers to the problem of today. As for women marrying more than one man, I dare you feminists!
Disclaimer:
At this point it shall suffice to add a disclaimer, that my examination of the subject of polygamy is not an endorsement of such actions. I mean, who gives his daily food to the stay cat to eat? I shall not be made to face the full repercussions of saying the truth because the likes of Uche and Sabella will not say it. Moreover, it is not that I am, had been or will be a polygamist – in fact, admitting such will be tantamount to breaking the three cardinal rules of polygamists, which are: Denied, Deny, Denying. May the bones of our forefathers not break and rot – Amen.
23 comments
live a private life and enjoy both girls as your wife… don’t publicize it… if you need to…leave your country and migrate to someplace friendly….its your life, and whatever light and truth you are given inside follow it… i know i love several girls with all my heart… i will take care of them as my wives….
Well, I have read the article and finds it excellent! I am not nigerian but have been researching Polygamy for six years now. First of all there is bad polygamy and there is good polygamy. The good polygamy which can be called a menage a trois is where all parties are in agreement and esteem, respect and love each component of the family. That type of polygamy should be legalized because everyone has the right to pursue happiness and no one is to tell anyone what their respective happiness should be.
Mr. Oluwagbemi wrote, “Warren Buffet –until first of two partners died recently, (I am beginning to think polygamy is a path to success), and it catched my eyes and even showed it to my wife. If you look in the Bible and in history you will find people like David and Solomon, people that God gave them many wives! These two guys used to bang women six days a week and the seven went praising the Lord! Solomon, like Warren Buffet and many other have or had been geniuses and had a lot of power and wealth. That power and wealth came from the transmutation of the feminine power into Hormones like Testosterone that gives men power and intellect! Therefore wife number one gives power, wife number two compound that power, wife number three further amplifies that power and so on until the man becomes a true alpha male. Yes alpha males are created by women.
My case is that I had the chance to percieve this experience in my life and I am you giving my testimony! If a man can harness that power in cooperation of his wives everyone will profit!
Polygamy, in the right set of common respect and decency between the involved parties is a great experience. Forced or abusive polygamy is a crime! As long as the people involved in it are consenting adults it should be permitted. Polygamy is a great venue for divorced or widowed women and should not be the first choice or experience for a young single women. Every women diserves the right to a first monogamous marriage which latter if it works can be expanded to a polygamous marriage if it is necessary and the parties are willing.
Recapping, there is good polygamy and there is bad polygamy, lets talk about the good one and lets identify the bad one and erradicate it!
Love and respect!
I’ll give a true case, two girls both are sisters loving me, even i love them truly. We three hang around having nice time together, both the girls accept me as their partner and like the other one also should be together. We have love, care n affection to the extreme. My country law prohibits polygamy, how could i choose one to marry? isn’t that unfair for the other girl, we realy depressed, we feel our natural rights have been violated!!
I am almost certain that Michael is using the term polygamy to refer only to polygyny (the marriage of one man to more than one woman). Polygamy actually encompasses both polygyny and polyandry (the marriage of one woman to more than one man).
“The rarity of polyandry stems from the historical powerlessness of women, who have not had enough social or economic clout to make it a reality” Conversely, the higher frequency of polygyny also stems from the historical powerlessness of women. While individual woman can be intelligent, successful and powerful, while engaging in a marriage arrangement that is culturally familiar to them, there is no evidence that polygyny is systemically empowering for women. There is also no evidence to suggest that women are any more or any less satisfied with a single sexual partner. Historically western men were much more apt to engage in extra-marital affairs than women, because their behaviour was socially sanctioned; ie – boys will be boys. Once western women began to take charge of our own sexuality that gap disappeared. I am not endorsing extramarital affairs, which I personally think can be very damaging to people of either gender and their spouses and families. I am simply saying that systemic sexism has traditionally worked to the benefit of men in almost all societies worldwide. The western boys will be boys attitude and non-western practice of polygyny are both evidence of that
I am curious..would the author of this article also endorse polyandry, and why or why not?
Morality is about been considerate of other people. Morality is treating others like you would like to be treated. Morality is abstaininig from things that might cause hurt or unhappiness to our fellow human beings. So how does polygamy promote the best interest of society or the person’s spouses. Polygamy is a selfish act. It only things about the self interest of one person and ignores the consequence to others. So, who suffers? The wives, not having one person in the world that has your back and will put you above all others. Who else? the Children. they will never get the personal attention or time and love that all deserve from their father. It also brings financial burdens on everyone involved. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages. That is why is it not a good social institution; regardless of race, religion or geography.
From a Christian point of view I like that what Patricia said when she spoke about how people take people in the bible out of context. However, if a person is not a Christian and does not believe in the bible than they may not agree. I agree with your point about men. If the tables were turned, would men accept poligamy. Not a chance! They don’t like to share, so why should we like it?
You made a good point! Many western women sleep with the same man at the same time, fight over them, and count themself the victor when he finally chooses one of them after he has gone between the two for months (major victory I guess!) However these days, many western women sleep with two men at the same time as well. Of course, I do not believe this is only done by westerners, but all over the world. The best practice, in my personal opinion, is what God set up from the beginning (one man and one woman at one time)–less drama, less stress, less sin.
Then polygamy should be embraced by muslim women as well (see how that goes over with muslim men).
Michael, you gave a very intelligent deduction as to why you believe polygamy is acceptable. I love the way in which you write, for I believe you have great skill. However, I think you did not take some things into consideration. The world had to be populated back then. What God allowed to take place back then, does not necessarily mean he is allowing it now. In one scripture it says, “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent” (Acts 17:39). If God intended for polygamy to be a way of life, he should have created Adam, Eve, and another woman from the very beginning. If God intended for homosexuality to be a way of life, he would have created Adam and Steve from the very beginning. But God created Adam and Eve (his wife). One husband and one wife (at one time), to me, was the perfect will of God. Man deviated from that plan (not God). God even allows us, like he did King David, to stray out of his perfect will, and yet surprisingly he still loves us. When and if we sin, it does not mean that we love God less, it means we are allowing our lusts and the fleshly side of us to take control. King David loved the Lord with all his heart. Even though he committed adultery and murdered Bathsheba’s husband, he repented quickly when God sent a prophet to tell him of his wicked ways. God allowed him (not approved of but allowed him) to have all of his other wives and concubines, but he not allow him to take the one wife away of a man that had only one. Who can figure out God? If we could, he would not be God. If I want to have four husbands, will God come handcuff me down and say, “No, Patricia, do not do it!” God will allow me to do as I pleased, for mankind has a free will, yet there will be a price to pay. If you are a firm believer in polgamy, which is your individual right to do so, then YOUR WIFE should be allowed to have several husbands in addition to you as well (right)! She can be sleep with you on Monday, sleep with husband Tom on Tuesday, and so forth. Would that set well with your polygamy embrace (not!) I saw a special on televison where there is an African tribe (what the television special categorized them as), and the women actually had several husbands (not vice versa). Interesting! Perhaps African women should start that practice, and we will see how quickly African men will want to DROP THAT PRACTICE! 😉
Michael says – how will you (abdul) feel if your wife grew a penis? lol
Yo Michael,
How would you feel ‘if ‘ your wife wanna marry three other men & spend the night with them????
Abdul
To anti-rosie: I still don’t like the piece, period.
For all you learned all you could give is a one star?
To Obiora, thanks for your correction on the women-men ratio issue. I did a little research and found that “recent declines in the proportion of male births, in the US, Canada, Denmark and the Netherlands.” It could be a contributing factor as well to the ratio issue. Fact is no one knows how this will continue or the trend will reverse itself in the near future. Something new I learned.
Wow, like there is something to be so proud of being westernized. Give her a good star, she is westernized. Does being westernized mean you need to look down on others who may not or who care not to be westernized? Is this what they teach you in the West? Being closed-minded means viewing polygamy as demeaning to women. You assume some women don’t choose polygamy for themselves, including women who share the same man in your so-called Western society. What do you call that Rosie? I sure know it aint monogamy. You assume so much but you know so little.
Posh-Posh, you are kind of contradicting yourself. As much as people have a right to comment on the article, people also have the right to comment on the person’s commenting. Is it you that will tell people how to express themselves? High time you take your own advice, express your opinion on the subject-matter and keep it moving without being all mother-hen.
Back to the topic, I could care less what others are doing in their bedroom because I don’t want you telling me what I can do in my own bedroom.
To ‘anti-rosie’
I am westernized and damn proud of it. And so are you, since I don’t imagine you wear only a wrapper to work, chew on chewing stick in the morning, cook in the your backyard. And if westernization means viewing polygamy as demeaning to women so be it. So you know … my grandfather was a polygamist and I loved him dearly.
And the comment you made about “Needy and unwanted women” is very misogynistic. Women are not things to be acquired and discarded. Women cannot be ‘wanted’ or ‘unwanted’ like things.
Yes, I am opinionated, sometimes abrasive, and yet honest.
@Rosie, you said “The reason there are more women than men is because women live longer than men”, that is not true. The descrepancy in mortality rate between men and women becomes wider in old age and not as youths or young adults, even at that, the percentage is nothing compared with the ratio of men to women in todays world, besides, mortality rate between both sexes has been narrowed since women are exposed to the same risk as men(thanks to career and money hunting) in most parts of the world.
The XX gene codes more these days than the XY genes for some wierd reason(may be men are slowly going into extinction) and the same trend is seen in animals too. Check the US birth rate and their sexes.
At least, if you can refute that polygamy has ties with lesbianism, then, you can as well rebuke those lesbians that claim they became one because men kept playing on them all their lives.
I see NIA has become a medium for verbal attacks on people who air their opinions.As it is ‘THEIR’S’ let’s keep it that way. Everyone is entitled to what they say and believe. High time we read to enjoy,comment and contribute,and not go hay wire with stinging comments!!!!!!
Take a chill pill Rosie. It aint that serious. If people choose to be polygamist that is their god-given right. You don’t read the minds of most men and women, so how would you know what they want. Could it be that monogamy is chosen because it is their only choice in most society? Monogamy also does not serve a useful purpose in today’s society. There is nothing a human being can’t do now as a single person that they can do as a monogamous married couple, so what is your point Rosie. We are not back in the dark ages where women could not buy property without being married. And whatever purpose you think monogamy serves is fabricated by government and religion. If you yourself Rosie don’t want polygamy, good choice for you and you alone (even though you greatly fooling yourself that you are not already in a polygamous relationship). Take a chill pill and relax Rosie.
Why can’t Rosie speak for herself instead of attacking the author. What is outdated? a practice accepted by 1.5 billion moslems? Gimme a break! The author defined the useful purposes of Polygamy including providing a house for the needy unwanted women of today, fostering family values but Rosie is prolly blinded by westernization to see that point made.
WTF?
This is the most misguided, misogynisted, homophobic, unintelligible piece of crap I have ever read. Oh, where do I start? (1) Homosexuality is not in any way tied to polygamy. Women who turn to women for relationships do it because they are either gay or bisexual(2) Although Polygamy is still accepted in several parts of the world and is outdated and in a modern world where keeping one marriage alive is tough, most men and women prefer monogamy. (3) Polygamy does not serve a uselful purpose in a modern world except for the perverse needs of men who practice it for the wrong reasons. (4) There is no scientific evidence that a woman has a one in four chance of having a son. It is a 50-50 chance for both male and female births. The reason there are more women than men is because women live longer than men.
I can go on and one to refute every fact, but I have better things to do.