The Village Belle
She was an angelic, innocent, and beautiful village Belle until her foster father dragged her into marrying three men 86 years a go. Her father of course is neither interested in her future nor what will happen after the bizarre arrangement. As far as he was concerned he wanted to see her married to these three men and nothing more.46 years later in a well-attended ceremony at the village square she was handed her certificate of marriage to mark what was presumed to be the beginning of a blissful and formalised union with these three uncompromising and difficult men. Officially, aside these three men she also had some thorny 250 concubines who could be said to be close associates of the three husbands. The weird marriage was not just celebrated by the family of her foster father because it was the very first of its kind but because the ambition they nursed for many years eventually saw the light of the day.
Cattle Rearer and Honeymoon
She never had the luxury of honeymoon as Danladi the uncivilised and least educated among her husbands who is also a cattle rearer was bent on having her to himself for that period, only for her other two husbands to realise later that Danladi did not just have a hidden agenda for the two of them but was determined not to allow them share her with him ever again. The two other men knowing that the unholy marriage could have been consummated some years back but for Danladi who protested then that he was not matured enough for marriage became highly infuriated but could do nothing as they were already hemmed in to the threesome relationship. Since 47 years a go when the marriage was formalised Danladi has been able to forcefully keep her for 32 years. Pathetically, one of the husbands Obidike was only fortunate to keep her for some years and this was because he was privileged to have been handed both the bride and the marriage certificate as a sign of unity.
Compensations
For the third husband, Adisa the gruesome death of his rich and prominent brother Kokumo, in the hands of Danladi was his saving grace as it gave him the opportunity to keep her for eight years. Adisa happens to be the most unfaithful among her three husbands; despite knowing that he was only fortunate to lay claim to her for a period of eight years because of Kokumo’s tragic death he abused the privilege and lost the opportunity to turn things around for Obidike who fasted, prayed, and hoped against hope for a fair share of the haggle. Obidike’s sin was that he attempted to choose another wife for himself in 1969 when he became inundated with the unjust alienation; the two men now vehemently believe he is not entitled to sharing her with them anymore. What Adisa failed to realise was that Danladi vowed among his ‘one way traffic’ kindred never to allow any of the other men to spend a night with her.
In 1995, one of her husbands encouraged her to have extra marital affair when he handed her over to a willing boyfriend. Although she had several abortions she still managed to bear eight children in the 47 years old marriage but some of them were popularly believed to have been fathered outside wedlock. She was fortunate to be pregnant during her 8 years stay with Adisa. Since the pregnancy was the only one that could be said to have been legitimately conceived and more so that Adisa was more than convinced that he was responsible everything was put in place to deliver her very first legitimate child.
Golden Opportunity
When Danladi fell sick some 28 years a go Adisa took the golden opportunity to have his first go at her, this resulted in a brief romance of three years that produced their first child together named ‘operation feed the family and ‘Ali must stay’, Having had a wonderful experience with her, in his usual primordial and covetous manner Adisa promised to employ the hands of the most experienced and qualified midwives across villages to help with the birth of their second baby. He therefore invited experienced and retired midwives from neighbouring villages and across the river to witness and supervise the birth of his wife’s second child. He committed over £1 billion into the village maternity as he believed the birth of his child should not only be done by the most qualified midwife but also in the most sophisticated enabling environment.
In the ninth month of her pregnancy Adisa went around the village drumming and dancing to celebrate the coming of his child, the child he said ‘will turn things around for the better as he will inherit my wealth and beautiful wife’. He didn’t mince words when he reminded his wife’s concubines that because the child will be carrying his gene he’ll give them a good fight especially the troublesome ones endowed with natural palm, kernel and coconut oils.
‘iwurunise’
Among many of the provisions Adisa made was to ensure that a surgeon was on stand by to ‘iwurunise’ the birth, when the competence of the surgeon was questioned by the villagers Adisa unequivocally announced that he was not expecting any complication but was only taking necessary precautionary measure. He didn’t fail to boast that his child will come out naturally without caesarean. Three days from when the baby was due Adisa again went about the village boasting that he will put in everything to ensure a successful child’s birth and that if casualties are recorded as the mother labours it should be taken in good spirit as such sacrifices arenecessary for family and village development.
The Caesarean
Before she started to labour in the maternity so much was put in place for a safe delivery yet nothing seem to be adequate or working out well; the chief midwife disregarded the advice of the supervising midwives, insisting that the labour must go ahead. She was not in pain as she carefully attempted her first push but the surgeon recommended a caesarean session and was supported by the matron who is also the chief midwife. The supervising midwives cried fowl and that the idea of caesarean was not an option. They said the idea is not only against medical ethics but that the unnecessary caesarean may mar the child’s life and therefore declared that the induced birth was conducted in the most unprofessional manner. The supervising midwives doubted the surgeon and midwife’s sanity for conducting such a life threatening and unnecessary caesarean. They said the operation was unnecessary as she had over 99.9% chance for a natural birth. The Baby lost both limbs at birth as a result of the unnecessary and evil-minded caesarean yet Adisa claimed the cause of the child’s disability was Poliomyelitis. The disability alone makes the child’s future very bleak yet a day after the birth its Paternity was contested by about 4 men and as this was going on an inconclusive independent preliminary investigation showed:
- That if the mother had Poliomyelitis vaccines as Adisa claimed during pregnancy where then did the Poliomyelitis come from
- That Adisa was the midwife who hid under the surgical clothing to conduct the child’s birth
- That the surgeon mangled the baby’s limb at birth to fulfil Adisa’s wish
- That since there is a paternity problem surrounding the birth of the child; the child is therefore an outcast.
‘Gododgodo’
However, if the three husbands and the 250 concubines do not quickly bury their hatchets and wipe their tears like a child who had his seized chocolate bar returned the ‘Gododgodo’ sorry ‘Zombies’ already have adequate trailer light (not green light) pointing them to ‘SOA CROK’ and are therefore gearing up to resolve the paternity palaver, if this happens every one will be loser not even Balaraba Musiliu will be given the custody of mother and child.
