A Naija Prince In Kenya

Was so worked up with so much work in Nigeria. Then came an unplanned trip to kenya for a short course in September. So glad, that I grabbed the offer. My boss thought I was going for capacity building, for where?…I wanted fun, some freedom from drudgery and deadlines. To be away from my seat and desk, and for my back tired of the back rest of my swivelling chair.

Was an unplanned trip, hence I was unplanned for what I’d face in Nairobi. Nigeria was hot, Nairobi was cold, but not snowy. Nigeria is a land of hot-blooded humans, but Nairobi, an abode for quiet kenyans. Nigerians they called “loud people”, and we saw kenyans as relaxed and sorry to add, maybe “laid back” but don’t quote me.

Was attending the lectures on malaria but had no interest in malaria. Was enjoying the classes but not the intellectual trips. Was seen as a class hero when I was none in Nigeria. Was acting like an actor and comedian because everyone turned me into one…they laughed at everything I said though I thought otherwise. Was quiet in Nigeria, but loud in kenya.

Was seen as a “broda” to Nollywood Big Boys like RMD. Was made a publicist for “Aki and Pawpaw”, and a Personal Assistant on media and community relations for Geneveive and Ramsey Noah…then for Jim Iyke and Rita Dominic, though I never watched Nollywood save by chance. Was turned to a Nollywood moviedom’s czar, like a Denzel Wash….

Was timid and laid back before women in Naija but lured to be a playboy in Kenya…but was I really since I have been a monk for years? Walked on the streets of Nairobi and my eyes saw …hmm beautiful girls and ladies. Why were they so beautiful, I mean with accentuated surface anatomical markings that caused the eyes to not have visual acuity? Why did the ladies wear full length, body-hugging trousers, and walked like strayed angels? Why did they make me almost renounce my vow of chastity and celibacy?

Why did they take me to the pubs that “Furahiday” night and dance toi the sway of Lingala Music? That was where they blogged, buzzed and …lost their facade of moderation? Why did these angels at day turn to mermaids at the City Centre in Nairobi at night?

Was thinking of coming back to Nigeria with an angel from Nairobi….but now I know that beauty is not deeper than the skin’s hues…

Was to have been bundled to “Mombasa Raha” but I wouldn’t let my eyes behold the “image of hedon”. Mbaa ooo with all the pervading VIRAL Load and villages wiped out in a genocidal manner by that villainic virus!!!

Was back to Nigeria…my naijaland like a dis-robed monk, disoriented not in time, place and person but in morals, piety and contemplation…of my secular-monkhood! Now am contracting a confesor to get back my sanity. I shall not let my heart stray, nor my eyes peer along the streets when next I get to Kenya….will seek out a monastery for mortals when next I see those stunning sights that pull the world of tourists to kenya, nay Nairobi again.

One day, yes, that day of my life has come when I dream, andshall say with gusto…” I Was a Prince from Naija and an Ambassodor-extraordinare in Nairobi!!”